Today, Nintendo just dumped a bucketload of gaming good news on the nonbelievers. And no, it’s not libation.

Crucially, a followup to A Link to the Past, the Legend of Zelda game whose title has got to be one of the worst puns ever, has been announced. 

The other Nintendo mascot who looks good in green, Luigi (not Tingle, sorry) has some fantastic DLC on the way.

The impossible has happened. Earthbound, the pastorial, charmingly bizarre, and insanely pricy RPG is getting a rerelease on these fine shores.

Also, scope this BAPE-inspired L.E. Mario & Luigi: Dream Team 3DS XL.

And in case you need something bitter to drown out the cloying sweetness, Harper’s has a list of obscure slurs removed recently from the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary. Don’t call me libber, buckra! 

And haters be damned. Roberto Bolaño’s labyrinthine fiction takes us to the breathtaking center of a Mexico City bathhouse. 

Adios.