In the age of social media toxicity, people need a plan of action for dealing with hater McFrowny Faces now more than ever. There seems to be two divergent paths in the quest to conquer a hater: either go into battle mode and attempt to defeat your foe, or kill ’em with kindness.
One of the most disarming things you could possibly say to someone trying to eviscerate you emotionally is, “Wanna make out?” Offering a sign of love to your attacker—right as they’re leaning in to rip out your throat—works almost the same as a slap: a sudden and disarming switch to the situation, leaving your attacker wondering whether this was what they wanted the whole time or what they were afraid of. Killing an attacker with kindness leaves them vulnerable, uncertain. The “victim” gains the upper hand, putting the ball back in the attackers court at an almost impossible angle.
But maybe blowing your most vicious haters a big fat kiss sounds impractical for the real world. Luckily, Kissing Foes is here to prove that the power of love can make hatred look petulant and silly for us. Set in a once-happy town that resembles the cookie cutter Idyllic RPG Hometown, Kissing Foes casts you as the hero determined to save it from a terrible curse—not with upgrades and swords, but with lip locking.
Every citizen of Frownsville (understandably, considering that name) seems to have come down with a serious case of the Mondays. Those who used to be happy-go-lucky villagers are now hideous monsters, who require your expert services to turn them back from frog to prince. There’s no combat involved, only a simple action button and your magical lips. When you lay one on ’em, each villager is so overcome with goodwill that they even spout out random book quotes about love.
Though Kissing Foes is a simple, fast, and even repetitive experience, the messages embedded in its silliness can surprise you. At one point, the game randomly delivered a quote from one of my most treasured childhood love stories:
Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
“After all this time?”
“Always,” said Snape.
As a hardcore and devoted Snape fangirl through thick and thin (like way before he got vindicated in Deathly Hallows and it became cool), this quote stirs a very specific and strong set of emotions in me. I might’ve been able to keep the squees at a minimum, though—if it hadn’t been for the next village-monster I tried to “cure.” After attempting to kiss the monster out of a particularly evil-looking, red-eyed orc, nothing happened. “I’ve always looked this way!’ he informed me in response to my befuddlement. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!”
It certainly is, Kissing Foes! So for all the lovers who’s outward appearances might disguise them as a hater, Kissing Foes has got you all figured out. Whether you’re a greasy, hooked nosed Potion’s Master or a red-eyed orc, it only takes a special pair of lips to show you that you’re lovable just the way you are.