After watching the new trailers for Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13 and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2, I’m cautiously optimistic for both of these big sequels.

But, holy hell, do they have some melodramatic dialogue. Which one’s worse? Be the judge for yourself, but it’s a mighty close contest, with Castlevania delivering up the heartfelt taunt: “If I cannot rule, the world of men, then no one will!” 

Compare that to Final Fantasy’s very serious: “If you wish to have my soul, you must take it by force!”

Videogames, we love you and still want to play you, but sometimes we seriously worry about you.