Ever wonder what kind of internal insight your favorite NES games reveal? John Peck at McSweeney’s will tell you:
Metroid: You have killed a mosquito with hairspray.
Duck Tales: You have spelled out “BOOBS” with Alpha-Bits.
Contra: You have wet the bed exactly twice: once as a child, once as an adult.
Gyromite: You have fed a jellybean to a Venus Flytrap.
And so many more.