In the darkest recesses of literary nonfiction graveyards there exist half-crumpled manuscripts musing, to the night sky, what sort of art the mindless automaton antagonists of Legend of Zelda might make. Muse no longer, undergrads: here is the exact manifestation of your dreams.

The cabal of “computer programs, robots, ‘smart objects,’ and beyond” at nonhumans.net have used an HP 7475A Pen Plotter to trace the X & Y coordinates of Legend of Zelda enemies as they hop about the screen. The result is a sort of digital, AI-created spirograph, with slight shadows in the image on places where, for whatever reason, the Moblins and Wallmasters et al. choose to frequent. You can buy one of these images—how else?—with bitcoins. 

But here’s where it gets interesting: the idea behind the whole project is to create a fund for “nonhuman artists.” Those artists can’t own that fund yet, but, according to the very human artists who wrote the FAQ on this project, someday they will. They cite the rise of “decentralized autonomous organizations”—which are essentially businesses run without any human involvement—and “smart property”—which is just any property whose ownership is controlled entirely by bitcoins. Since these organizations are important to international trade, they could at some point be reclassified as property-owning individuals. Once this happens, the “human trustees” of nonhumans.net will transfer all the funds over to the videogame enemies. 

“The goal,” they note, “is to incubate art careers for nonhumans as they gain civilization’s most dignified status: the ability to own property and currency.” Cheeky shit. 

h/t to Prosthetic Knowledge