We love Overwatch. So we assembled 22 of our best writers and set them to work—a writer to jump into the skin (or robotic shell) of each character. The result is 22 odes. You can use the “Overwatch odes” tag to leaf through them all, or use the handy list at the bottom of this post.
Look, I get it: you hate Symmetra. She doesn’t heal. She doesn’t snipe. She never gets her own Play of the Game, but trust me, she’s always there, silently, in the background of everybody else’s. Genji mowing down an entire team that’s trying to capture a point. Winston leaping into the backlines before sending three opponents careening to their bottomless deaths. Dang, a Tracer might think. I thought everybody was dead, and yet here they are again, with shields, stabbing me in the kidneys and hitting me off cliffs.
Have you ever noticed how short the respawn timer is in Overwatch? It’s mercilessly so, but built in to each map is an additional respawn penalty in the form of travel time. We’ve all died numerous times only to walk through a Hollywood set just to get back to the real game. It’s a moving obituary: a place for regret. A place for reflection. A place for shame.
Nobody likes contemplating their life choices every single time they shamble back to the fray after getting Hanzo’d in the face. It’s slow and lonely. Teleportation is neither of those things. Teleportation is quick, and probably like going to a photon orgy where you may or may not be cloned and then annihilated. Symmetra will teleport you. Symmetra will give you a shield. Symmetra will autograph your baby.
Symmetra might not fit neatly in with the other healing supports, but that’s because she’s running on her own system of order and trying to beat back the chaos of Overwatch’s colorful world. And when that chaos ends in a team wipe, she’ll be there, helping your teammates’ sorry asses get back to the front lines to defend as fast as possible. She’ll be there, in the background, putting you all neatly back onto the shelf that is the capture point, her shield a fresh dustcover keeping the disorder at bay.
Genji – Genji is with you
McCree – Who you kidding? McCree is Overwatch‘s true shooter
Pharah – Don’t play fair, play Pharah, exclusively
Reaper – In defense of Reaper, the patron saint of mall-goth teens
Soldier 76 – Soldier 76 is here to make everyone else look good
Tracer – A series of limericks about Tracer, because why not
Bastion – Bastion is the machine pointed at the world
Hanzo – Hanzo “looks like a good man,” my Japanese mom raves
Junkrat – I have fallen in love with Junkrat
Mei – Here comes Mei, the badass nerd hell-bent on revenge
Torbjörn – An ode to hard-working, salt-of-the-earth Torbjörn
Widowmaker – Widowmaker made a widow of me
D.Va – An ode to D.Va, the sassiest dream girl this side of Overwatch
Reinhardt – An ode to Reinhardt, tortured scion of a broken land
Roadhog – An ode to Roadhog is an ode to ugliness
Winston – Winston, the Science Gorilla, is in charge
Zarya – Zarya makes Mother Russia her bitch
Ana – Ana is the protective mother we all want
Lucio – Inside the idiot party-bubble of Lucio
Mercy – Mercy is the most terrifying character in Overwatch
Zenyatta – Praise be to Zenyatta, then chill the heck out