Is Mountain Dew actually the acid from Earthworm Jim?

Pepsi Co. recently let loose with the startling revelation that if you’re drinking a can of Mountain Dew, you don’t have to worry about finding a dead mouse in it, because they claim, “The mouse would have dissolved in the soda” into a “jelly-like substance.” Weirder still they’re claiming this as a defense to a lawsuit levied by someone who allegedly found a mouse in their Mountain Dew.

Two questions: Which is worse? Finding a mouse in your Dew, or the idea that Mountain Dew can dissolve live tissue? And also, what else can Mountain Dew dissolve? A DVD? One of the molerats in Fallout? A Kinect? Yeah. It’s just the acid from Earthworm Jim.

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-Drew Millard