It’s here. We made Downton Abbey: The Gathering so you didn’t have to.

Trussed-up telenovela Downton Abbey, an Edwardian-set import, has captured this nation’s hearts and imaginations with its savvy combination of icy British subtlety and hot-blooded American-style romance. And much like your average everyday card-based RPG, the show often stages the fall of fiefdoms and the rise of champions at the dining room table.

Longing glances and sniveling sneers are but the lowest-level common attacks in this field of play – below you will find some of the more formidable and unique powers these class warriors possess.

Clever card art by Daniel Purvis. Inspired in no small part by CollegeHumor’s TV show/RPG spoofs. Special thanks to Twitter pals @scd for his significant contributions, and @simonium for Mr. Bates’ special ability!

-Sarah Elmaleh