PAUSE: I have been to the mountain, and it is made out of novelty t-shirts.

There are many definitions of the word “love.” My MacBook Pro’s dictionary defines it as, “an intense feeling of deep affection,” or, “a person or thing that one loves,” or something about tennis. My personal definition of “love” is basically, “would someone go to and buy me a t-shirt?” They’re the makers of the legendarily stupid “Three Wolf Moon” shirt, as well as a score of equally amazing straight-faced ridiculous shirts. I will personally pay ten dollars to the person who makes a game companion to the shirt’s sequel, the Three Werewolf Moon, or any of the shirts that have giant animal faces on them.