There is a moment in the seminal Simpsons espisode in which Homer gains hundreds of pounds to go on paid disability, where he is unable to fit into a movie theater seat, and the smarmy theater owner promises, if Homer will “kindly leave”, to “treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.” Homer is about to agree, when he realizes: he is being pandered to as a fatass, and in rejecting the popcorn, regains his pride.

Gamers, such a moment has arrived for us. In a new cross-promotion, gamers can “cash in” Mountain Dew and Doritos product codes for rewards in Halo 4. How many times have you defended gamers as more than Mountain Dew-swilling, Dorito-inhaling, basement-living layabouts? HOW MANY TIMES? With these EXACT TWO PRODUCTS? Mountain Dew and Doritos are literally synecdoches for fat gamer snacks.

People, it’s time to take a stand. Do not take part in this pandering. Buy hummus. Buy kale. Buy Fritos for all I care. Just don’t let them win.