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The world is okay and here is a cat you can tease with yarn

Life is a brutal slog. You spend the majority of your waking hours working, and spend the remainder recovering from the toxic effects of that work. Your body is constantly deteriorating, unless you are like a little kid, in which case, I have this to say: it is all downhill from here, bub. The planet on which you are oscillating between work and nonwork is literally dying. From a cosmic perspective, the human race is merely being obstinate. And yet. We wake up. We find meaning in the work. We build families, and the families help each other. We wend…

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Catlateral Damage reminds me why I’m a dog person

You are a cat. Your owner has left you home alone as they do every day. Your window has opened, and it is time to punish your unwitting human the only way you know how: mass destruction. Such is the premise of Catlateral Damage, a first-person cat simulator by developer Chris Chung. Similar to Katamari Damacy, you are in a space with a limited amount of time to do a lot of damage—but instead of playing an adorable alien prince rolling up items, you’re an adorable cat with a predilection for carnage. we are truly at their mercy  Catlateral Damage,…

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The life and times of a Garbage Cat, and his human’s futile attempts to sleep

Cats: why do we worship their every judgmental glance and begrudging move? Perhaps its writ in our DNA to adore their disdain for us, and to, day in day out, pick up the stinky poops of a creature that (on a good day) barely puts up with your people crap. Ever since the Egyptians up and declared them sacred, cats have been fated to become humanity’s disgruntled overlords. The internet isn’t helping, either, with their dickhole feline antics translating perfectly into six second Vine clips. I mean, just look down below at this Google Books Ngram Viewer chart to see how…