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The Lobster, a warped fairy tale about our dating obsession

To state a fact in ordinary language is to permit a doubt concerning the statement. – R.F. “Tody” Hamilton (press agent, Barnum & Bailey) There is a sequence towards the end of The Lobster in which two characters, initially drawn together by the same physical defect, are trying to find new shared ground. One of them has recently lost the condition that has made them seem compatible, and her partner attempts, through trial and error, to figure out what else they might have in common: Can she play the piano? Speak German? Does she like berries? As their incompatibilities accumulate,…


Gaze upon the kinky, deformed face of Craigslist casual encounters

Finding yourself in the Craigslist casual encounters personal ads feels like accidentally stepping into a new world you never knew existed. It has its own language (i.e. I’m a DDF w4m who’s down to be FWB, is HWP, and into sub/dom). It has its own societal norms and code of conduct (discreteness and height/weight proportionality are key to be being a productive Craigslist casual encounter citizen). Essentially, it’s like you accidentally got invited to that Eyes Wide Shut orgy, only instead of creepy masks, everyone’s face has been replaced by a dick pic. everyone’s face has been replaced by a…


Red Flags is a card game of perfect partners and terrible dates

You meet the person of your dreams. They have everything you want in a partner: a love for dogs, the ability to write poetry that is not in any way embarrassing, unrivalled loyalty, and a yacht. There’s just one catch. This potential match calls you by their ex’s name. And this isn’t an isolated incident. Your potential match is only capable of referring to you by your ex’s name. What do you do? Do you write this off as a foible—nobody’s perfect, after all? Or do you cut your losses and choose another suitor? These romantic choices and tradeoffs are…